there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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