he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
