I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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