someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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