I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
It's blow job season.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
