never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
