I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
