I love black thongs
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Text me some of your sweat
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
