God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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