better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My penis needs a shock collar
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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