someone owes me an orgasm
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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