Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
