i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
