she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
