help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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