I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
