she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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