i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
