Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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