First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
