If i come over, it means nothing
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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