he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
