I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
