need another drink. this is the easiest way
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
