You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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