it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
