ya dads aren't the best wingmen
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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