yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
