Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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