True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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