God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
There's always time for handjobs
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize