Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
