no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.