Only a mothe r could love this liver
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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