Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
