i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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