Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
