Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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