what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
