8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
