I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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