what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
