I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize