Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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