don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
