Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
