This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize