her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
