who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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