shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
