that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
