That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
