you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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