Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
