i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
