dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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