3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize