Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
