and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
