I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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