I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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