Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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