On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
