I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Randomize
