Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
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she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
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It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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